Your home is not going to be invaded by ninjas

October 24, 2011
By

One of the most common threads you’ll see on firearms related sites about defensive tactics is the use of lights, both handheld and weapon-mounted.  The debate, if you can call it that, is between turning your light on so you can see or “preserving your night vision.”  Now, mind you these conversations are occurring in a strictly civilian scenario such as a home invasion.  In military and LE settings, it is important to have a discussion of appropriate illumination and that sort of thing.

However, many gun owners seem to operate under the fantasy that they’ll be creepin’ through their house in the dark, engaged in some sort of epic battle of hide and sneak with a tactically aware burglar.  Recently, this has been aptly demonstrated by the comments on a post at TTAG.  The picture, which was used in an excellent review of the Crimson Trace Lightguard by Say Uncle is used primarily to illustrate the excellent cone of light cast by the LightGuard.  However, the lowest common denominator must be heard from, and since they live in TTAG’s comment section I’m greeted with comedy gold like this:

That and his light and lazer [sic] are on for no reason, surprise is no longer on his side.

Or

I think everyone should mount all sorts of lights and lasers on their guns with a big sign that says ” Shoot me “

And the stupidest of all

Given the warning of the light, and knowing the gun’s aiming point, this is a perfect setup for an armed intruder to edge up to the wall in a crouch, then reach around and shoot upwards. If t’were I doing the intruding, I would aim a little low, in case the gentleperson upstairs was also crouching. Even if not, a pelvic or thigh hit would ruin the defender’s day, and probably give me the chance for a few more shots.

Far better for the defender to wait around the edge of the stairwell, out of sight, listening for footsteps. [I've never run into a set of wooden stairs that didn't creak somewhat.] Flashlight OFF, laser on, but covered by support hand until last moment. Even without a well-aligned laser pointer, a quick snap-shot or two at point-blank range would resolve the issue quite favorably. An added precaution would be for the defender to be crouched as low as possible [prone would reduce maneuverability excessively].

I see comments like this all the time, and they drive me up the freakin’ wall every time I see them.  I don’t know about you, but my position is going to be pretty effectively given away by me screaming at the 911 operator that someone’s in my house and that they need to get cops here most ricky-tick before I have to shoot this guy.

The guy that breaks into your house is not going to be some elite operator.  The most dangerous type of home invasion is from an amateur criminal or someone high on drugs, and guys on meth tend to not be very subtle.  We need to disabuse ourselves of this silly notion that we’re going to be sneaking through the house in the dark like it’s Splinter Cell and train for realistic home defense scenarios.

Go through the list of possible bad things that could happen in your home.  If you’ve got a plan for a home invasion by a squad of ninjas but don’t have a workable fire evacuation plan that you’ve practiced with your family you’re an idiot.  Once you do that, I also recommend taking an actual class.  Sure, you can sit around on the internet and talk about how you’re going to clear rooms in your house in the dark, but there are some shooting schools that will actually let you clear rooms in the dark – go to one of those, and then I’d love to hear your new strategy.

44 Responses to Your home is not going to be invaded by ninjas

  1. SayUncle on October 24, 2011 at 10:12

    Oh, come on. Pesky ninja. I’ve had three break in this week.

    I think my favorite is that I must be a midget who wants to shoot cats.

    • Caleb on October 24, 2011 at 10:12

      Seriously, now if I had posted the picture then that would be an accurate description!

  2. Molon Labe on October 24, 2011 at 10:22

    As usual the mall ninjas are ‘tarded.

    I’ve been on the business end of two, ahem, “break ins”. Both times there was a lot of yelling and general chaos as the uninvited guests remembered that they had business outside of my home, post haste. In fact, from discussions with others that have been on the business end of an unscheduled estate appraisal, I have found that sneaking around is a really good way to get your crap broken and people shot.

    If someone enters your home in the middle of the night, let them know that you are there, will defend yourself and have already called 911. Actually, that works for day time too. Most of the time, they will leave. Those that do not are not thinking about all the training they got at the Shugart-Gordon MOUT site on Fort Bragg. Those that do not may also need some attention from one of your force options.

    Regardless, that crap you quoted from TTAG would be funny if there was not a potential that someone would die in the course of taking their piss poor advice.

  3. Jeff the Baptist on October 24, 2011 at 10:26

    “but there are some shooting schools that will actually let you clear rooms in the dark – go to one of those, and then I’d love to hear your new strategy.”

    Do they do force-on-force room clearing in the dark?

    • Caleb on October 24, 2011 at 10:51

      Some do, some don’t. Honestly though, I think people should try a room clearing exercise in the dark against static targets; that alone is challenging enough to do right and I think would get rid of a lot of this silly mall-ninja stuff.

      • Jeff the Baptist on October 24, 2011 at 12:58

        Yes but the whole reason not to use a light is because of the targeting Field-of-view problem. The guy in the dark has the large field of view of the naked eye, but guy with the light has a restricted FOV caused by the illumination. If you keep that light on all the time, the guy in the dark will acquire your light long before you find him with it. It’s the same reason that Air Defense batteries strobe their radars so that they aren’t killed by wild weasels homing on their EM emissions.

        As a practical matter, the right thing to do if someone is downstairs in your house is to call the cops, gun up, tell the crooks you’ve called the crooks and gunned up, and turn on all the damn house lights you can. Stumbling around in the dark in your own house with or without a light is for chumps.

        • JFM on October 24, 2011 at 22:19

          I don’t know what your house is like, but when I turn on a 200 lumen flashlight whatever room I’m in lights up like I turned the overhead on. As a giggle I had my wife shine the flashlight at me after my eyes became acustomed to the dark. Spots. Nothing but spots. And no, the flashlight isn’t attached to a gun.

          • Jeff the Baptist on October 25, 2011 at 07:09

            Well if you shine a tactical flashlight at someone used to normal ambient light levels, it’ll still blind them. That’s a big part of why they’re “tactical.” But yeah you’re right you will get a lot of ambient wash from the beam.

            I don’t really get tac lights in your own house though. I haven’t gamed it, but I bet wall switches work just as well, don’t tie up your hands, and don’t risk your position. But you can’t blind people with them.

  4. TC on October 24, 2011 at 10:56

    But caleb aren’t I suppose to do a combat roll into the living room with the intruder. All while shouting geronimo for dramatic effect. The suprise on the intruders face while I unload a mag in a 360 spray pattern would be amazing. Oh wait I just shot my dog because I didn’t have a light source to properly identify my target ;)

    But seriously, shooting a shadow in the night is akin to the hunter who ‘accidentally’ shoots someone while hunting. If you can’t properly identify the intruder don’t go mall ninja, lol. It’s like I think I’ll go no tac light, no verbal warning, stealth mode. Oh my god I shot my (insert loved one here).

    Enough of my rant on mall ninjas.

  5. Weer'd Beard on October 24, 2011 at 11:06

    Hey, this guy said with a straight face that he asks permission before he steals content….to the guy he stole from without contacting.

    I think its pretty obvious of the caliber of this guy and those who think he’s worth a tinker’s dam.

  6. ExurbanKevin on October 24, 2011 at 11:28

    ” If you’ve got a plan for a home invasion by a squad of ninjas…”

    I don’t. But I did shoot an IDPA stage JUST like that a few weeks ago…

    ;)

  7. Steve on October 24, 2011 at 12:25

    Personally I don’t mind that the bright lights, laser beams, yelling into the phone etc. are going to compromise my position. I want the bad guys to leave, now!

    Shooting people is nasty business, there’s all that paperwork and I just replaced the carpet, drapes and painted the walls after the last attack of midget ninja hookers from Disney World. :-D

    • Sid on October 24, 2011 at 15:55

      Have you seen my aunt, Shelia? She and her Disney coworkers were ‘little people”. They were hired to dress as ninjas and deliver a singing birthday telegram to some guy named “Steve”. His wife thought it would be funny to have them surprise him in the middle of the night.

  8. aczarnowski on October 24, 2011 at 12:45

    Since I live in Minneapolis, with the MPD’s history, I have thought about the ninja invasion scenario. It breaks down to the same plan as any other invasion scenario:

    1. move wife back into closet with a phone and a secondary firearm
    2. point primary AR down stairs
    3. tell them I have a gun and a screaming case of herpes (Bueller? Bueller?)
    4. put as many rounds as needed into anybody that comes up them

    • troy on October 26, 2011 at 15:50

      best plan ever.

  9. Ben on October 24, 2011 at 14:28

    Shelly gets 5000 points for the mall ninja quotes and an extra million for the splinter cell reference.

    • Caleb on October 24, 2011 at 14:45

      I’m not Shelley. ;-)

      • Steve on October 24, 2011 at 17:37

        It’s kind of hard to recognize you without your +5 melee coffee cup of doom. ;-D

      • Ben on October 25, 2011 at 09:26

        My bad. Followed the link from her FB page.

  10. Matthew Carberry on October 24, 2011 at 14:51

    What’s being missed in all this is that if your home is invaded by actual ninjas you. will. never. know. (cue ominous music)

    • Joe in PNG on October 24, 2011 at 19:22

      Depends on the number of Ninja involved, really. One Ninja= you are likely dead, unless you know really powerful kung fu. Two or three Ninja= 50-50 chance. Three to six Ninja= tough fight, but you’ll will. More than six Ninja= your great aunt Gertrude could beat that many with a toilet brush.

  11. McThag on October 24, 2011 at 15:00

    Um, how would you know your house had been invaded by ninjas? There could be one reading over your shoulder right now! DON’T LOOK!

    Seriously though. I the ceiling fan down the hall from the bedrooms is on a wireless remote. CLICK. All kinds of useful light, no “giving away my position”.

    Same principle works with the yard lights.

  12. Kansas Scout on October 24, 2011 at 15:31

    Finally a sane word about such things. Too much of this “training” is pure nonsense designed to impress the student into thinking he is getting his or her money’s worth.

  13. Sid on October 24, 2011 at 15:57

    Caleb, thank you.

  14. pdb on October 24, 2011 at 16:11

    Great post! People are way overthinking this. A gun mounted light and / or laser is a godsend for use indoors because it frees up a hand to open doors, turn on lights, work the phone, herd kids, etc. If you don’t think so, unload your pistol, unload it again, then get out your flashlight and see how it works. You need three hands!

    Additionally, Castle Doctrine or not, if you headshot an intruder without verbally challenging him after waiting in ambush in the shadows, you’re gonna have a lot of fun with the grand jury.

    • BigDaddy on October 25, 2011 at 15:32

      If I headshot an intruder without verbally challenging him, why would I have trouble with a grand jury? Dead men tell no tales.

      • Caleb on October 25, 2011 at 15:35

        So your option is lying to the cops?

        • PhillipC on October 27, 2011 at 21:37

          Lying to the cops is ALWAYS an option, if you count lies of omission. Just ask any good defense attorney. It falls under the “What they don’t know won’t hut you” category.

  15. Brad Schilling on October 24, 2011 at 18:38

    It’s a self-licking icecream cone. If the gun industry can’t prey on your fears, then how can they sell you $600 picatinny rail mounted flashlight???

    me? I’ve opted to go with the halon fire suppression route a la Terminator 2. Anybody breaks into my house, I don a Self Contained Breathing Apparatus, then hit one switch and the entire house is flooded with halon. A few minutes later after the release, then I go on walk about and laugh at the still convulsing/seizing bad guy on my kitchen’s floor.

    Gecko45 or Walter Mitty much?

    • Kevin on October 25, 2011 at 11:27

      Halon is very expensive and people can breath in it. I’d suggest CO2. It worked great at the Idaho National Lab Bld 648. The whole room fills with impenetrable fog virtually instantly.

  16. Ed on October 24, 2011 at 20:06

    I don’t know what you are talking about. Splinter Cell is totally realistic.

    • Patrick from Texas on October 26, 2011 at 19:24

      Another great vid from Freddie W! Hilarious! This really hits home to those of us that have spent hours shooting out the lights in Splinter Cell.

  17. mikee on October 25, 2011 at 06:54

    I have indeed trained to work my way through my home avoiding dangerous obstacles and blind spots. You see, I have a 5 year old and he leaves his toys (or “action figures” if you prefer) all over the floor, like little plastic caltrops. After several years of this, I can now walk through the pre-dawn darkness, mostly still asleep, avoiding those sharp little nasties scattered through the house without even seeing them on my way to make the morning coffee. What have I learned from this oft-repeated exercise?
    1, An important part of any home self defense scenario is the booby trap category. God help the hapless home invader, who will trip, stumble, and fall over my son’s toys like a blindfolded Joe Pesci in Home Alone.
    2. I can walk through my house without screaming that I have a plastic shard in my instep, after much practice at gasping silently in my pain so as not to wake the wife. I will expect less of any home invader. Target acquired!
    3. If I run out of ammo, the T-ball bat left on the floor just outside my son’s bedroom door makes a handy backup weapon. Nothing (other than the sound of a Rem870 being racked) says “leave now” like the “TINK” of an aluminum bat against skull. And since it is sized for a 5 year old, this bat works better in confined spaces than a full-length Louisville Slugger. If I painted it black, I could sell it as a tacticool bat.

    So remember, in a home defense scenario, you NEED to make advantages out of situations that might, at first glance, seem to disadvantage you.

    Next week: How I can strangle you with my toddler daughter’s Pampers before you know what hit you. Just hope I can’t get to the ones in the trashcan, and have to use a clean one!
    2.
    1. In case of a home in

    • Sid on October 25, 2011 at 13:26

      Ooooh! You have Tacticool bats for sale? Can I get one in digital camo?

      • Joe in PNG on October 25, 2011 at 14:02

        Does it have at least 3 rails on it? Bat’s aren’t really tacticool unless you can mount a red dot, laser, and light on it.

        • Thomas F on October 28, 2011 at 08:24

          Can you put a silencer on it…..

          wrap it in 1″ pipe foam…….

  18. Rabbit on October 25, 2011 at 14:16

    Screw it. Hit the claymores from upstairs, mop out the downstairs after I make coffee the next morning.

  19. Klingon00 on October 25, 2011 at 18:10

    Biggest reason for a flash light is target ID. Never shoot at a shadow if you don’t know for certain what it is. It could just be a family member who was up for a glass of milk.

    As for home defense, I plan to stay put with my gun covering the main choke point to the bedroom while wife calls 911. I’ll leave clearing houses to the professionals.

    Also, Just because you are paranoid, doesn’t mean they (ninjas) aren’t out to get you. :)

  20. NP on October 26, 2011 at 02:07

    Why does everyone put their wife in the closest (or other supposedly safe place) and let them call 911. I am going to my wife in the doorway with the biggest gun she can handle while I cower in the corner and call 911 :)

  21. bobby on October 26, 2011 at 23:27

    … as the t-shirt says, “I’m not afraid of the dark. I’m afraid of the ninjas that hide in the dark.”

  22. Dann in Ohio on October 27, 2011 at 21:12

    After looking at Say Uncle’s original article and photo…
    http://www.shootingillustrated.com/index.php/16411/crimson-trace-lightguard-2/

    I guess I’ll be giving away my location in the dark to the ninja home invaders too and my photo on my post/review of the Streamlight TLR-1s looks very similar:
    http://godgalsgunsgrub.blogspot.com/2011/08/streamlight-tlr-1s-weapon-light.html

    Dann in Ohio

  23. Thomas F on October 28, 2011 at 08:42
  24. Ben Branam on November 2, 2011 at 18:38

    You are on target here. We must train for the threat. Most people are nit going to have a trained hit squad after them. It will be some gang banger that just knows speed and violence. Look at the police reports from home invasions. If you have time to get a long gun you are already way a head of the game. Train for things to happen supper fast and for your position to be over run by an intruder.

     Modern Self Protection